Queen Bee

No. 28: Learn to curtsy
No. 29: Have tea with nobility

...“It’s not required that you curtsy, but it’s certainly an option,” says Naomi, a very nice young woman in a purple suit, who’s been facilitating the opening of a care home in Berkshire for individuals with learning disabilities. She's in charge of myself and a handful of journalists, as we stand around waiting for the arrival of the day's official ribbon-cutter, Elizabeth II, Queen of the United Kingdom.

I’ve always assumed I would eventually need to perfect my curtsy, as I’ve known since childhood I would one day become close confidant to the royal family. But the task has been thrust upon me with little notice, and I’m feeling under prepared. It was just two weeks ago when Justin asked me if I would like to meet the Queen. I told him I would have to think about it.

Naomi’s demonstrating a small dip of the knees and bowing of the head that looks like a ladylike version of davening, as I stand with three other gentlemen reporters who look about as interested in our tutorial as a group of Cistercian monks might be in a subscription to J Date.

“So we’ll have you in the main room for when the Queen takes her tour of the centre, and then you’ll move behind her as she goes to the different rooms.” I nod my agreement, trying to nonchalantly bend my knees and practice the move, worried that the action will come off looking less regal and more like I’m a demented flamingo...

To read the full column follow this link and turn to page 18: http://www.totallyjewish.com/the_jewish_news/view/c-12253/jewish-news-jn-598-130809/?no_login=1