Professional Loud Mouth & Morris Morris Dancing

No. 19: Be Town Crier for a day
No. 20: Learn to morris dance

...“Can I have your attention, ladies and gentlemen!” the Crier cries as we step out onto the busy walkway of the South Bank. He wasn’t kidding about the volume.

“This young lady here is a newspaper reporter from America, and like all Americans, she thinks she can do my job better than me. So we’re going to give her a try!”

Talk about be careful what you wish for. A sea of pedestrians is now looking at me curiously as Peter begins draping his coat over my shoulders, placing his cap on my head and his bell in my hand. He’s also watching me as if certain I know where to go from here.

I’m racking my thoughts for some sort of English gem worthy of sharing with these folks. The Pledge of Allegiance is the only thing I’m coming up with, but reciting an oath to my American flag doesn’t seem very appropriate, and I inwardly curse my seventh grade history teacher Mr. Thompson for not better preparing me for this day.

“The sun never sets on the British flag!” I shout. People seem slightly mollified but still expectant. “London is very foggy! And God save the Queen!”...

To read the full column follow this link and turn to page 18: http://www.totallyjewish.com/the_jewish_news/view/c-12160/jewish-news-jn-595-230709/?no_login=1